Hello!!!
It’s been a while since I have wrote on here. It not that life has been boring and we have not been doing anything, it’s more the fact that I am struggling to put my thought and words together. I am not sure that this post will make true since. But here I go.
It’s Ava’s senior year of high school and I am not sure that this mom is ready for what is to come. We have started visiting Colleges and talking about what life away from home like. I know she is ready to take on the world she has Dreams that can take Her anywhere she wants. I just don’t selfishly am not looking forward to missing my best friend and daughter being here everyday. She also helps me greatly with the house and her sister’s care. Many times she has to pick up slack for things I can’t do to side effects of my Mitochondrial disease. No matter what I won’t stop her Dreams due to any of those things. I am Happy to celebrate her 18th birthday on the 16th this month. Yet here I am finally posting many days late.
I guess I should talk a little about me and why I have been silent. Silents is a way to deal with not talking about pain. My whole life I have been taught that you were to see and not heard. As I got older when I felt sad, alone or depressed I knew that I had to battle it alone. I always trying to find the right answers. Sometimes though podcasts, listening to others problems and what others told each other, prayed, and read my bible. But to be truthful the only thing that helped me has been prayer and reading the Bible; the truth is I am at a point I need people-I need a tribe that truly walks with me in the good and ugly of my life. The person/s I can cry with that does not want to fix me; want to seat with me in the moment. Please, know that God brings people on and out of my life in seasons. This season is long and hard.